An understated gourmet masterpiece, perfect for the bachelor whose wallet has a beaming neon VACANT sign on it. Not only is it tasty, it's simple to make. If you can pour Fritos into a bowl, cook canned chili over a stove, and grate a block of cheese, you're well on your way to a veritable orgy in your mouth. And if your tastes lie in more exotic territory, you can substitute grated cheese for microwaved cheese dip, adding extra layers of meltiness and creaminess to the divine ambrosia while simultaneously increasing your odds of a cardiac arrest incident before the age of 22. The Ratings Man also recommends using Fritos Scoops rather than regular, smaller, inferior Fritos.

Friends of the Ratings Man may be quick to scorn, berating him for reviewing a food item to kick off his critiquing exploits. "Food!" they will cry. "That's just like you to talk about food! Food this and food that! Do you ever stop gorging yourself?" The Ratings Man's only defense is that if his hecklers actually sat down and ate one of these fine works of art, their eyes would be opened to the light, and they would realize why he exalts it so.

Fritos + chili + cheese is a tough hat trick to top, giving even venerable duos chocolate + peanut butter and French fries + ketchup a run for their money. The only drawback to such a marvelous triad is that canned chili is rather insubstantial as far as meat products are concerned, and one can grow weary of its artificial taste and the rapidity with which it grows tepid rather quickly. Taken in moderation, however, Frito chili pie is a delicacy of epic culinary proportions that both white trash bargain shoppers and sophisticated gourmands alike can merrily and unashamedly dine upon.

8.8